You’re already anxious enough as a new parent, scrutinising every little sound your baby makes, trying to do everything just right and second guessing every move you make. So it really doesn’t help when your new little human starts doing some super weird and frankly, gross things that lead you to Google questions you never thought you’d be asking like, “do babies get their period?”
The truth is, newborns are all uniquely weird AF. Their digestive and nervous systems are immature, they’re still adjusting to being outside of the womb and they aren’t even aware that they’re an individual person yet. There’s a lot going on in those tiny little bodies.
Your baby is going to come with their own brand of weird that no one can really prepare you for, but we asked mums about some of the weird things their newborn babies did in the hopes of reducing your anxiety just a little when your baby starts letting their own freak flag fly.
Here are some weird things to expect from your newborn baby:
It’s anyone’s guess when it comes to poops and farts…
She would poop only every 3-4 days. – Kelli
She went 8-12 days in between poops! Spoiler alert: anywhere up to 14 days is considered normal! – Erin
My baby didn’t poop for 10 days!! – Thea
Baby poo has so many odd colours and consistencies, it would change all the time. – Deanne
Crying when farting and pooping, who knew wind could be so painful for these tiny babies. – Kelsey
Loud farts…. caught me by surprise! – Megan
For a while there we were getting poonami’s every day! – Beau
And you can expect some other weird bodily functions…
She threw up out her nose a few times. – Melissa
Bled from her vagina… pseudo period… normal… – Angela
With my first, it was the initial spit ups she did. I didn’t realise that it was a regular occurrence. – Leesa
Mucus leaking from my first daughter’s girl bits. That was awkward and worrying. Apparently its normal. – Sara
His little belly button bled for a few days after his cord fell out and I was super worried. – Jacintha
Sleep patterns that have no pattern…
She sometimes only sleeps for 6 hours in 24…. not the 16-18 they say they will… hectic! – Charlotte
Slept longer than she should have. Drank excessively more milk than should have fit her tiny belly. – Nicole
Not sleeping at all for like 12 hours straight! – Mia
Slept more on some days than others, very inconsistent. – Michelle
Is it normal to wake up 77 times a night? (Okay it was more like five times but it felt like a zillion) – Alissa
She was not sleeping much and cried a lot. The only way she would settle was to sleep on her belly, which they kept telling me was not good. – Noelle
And lots of weird noises when they do sleep…
Squeaked in his sleep…. a lot. – Naomi
Made yelping noises in her sleep. I Googled “My baby yelps like a kelpy puppy” at 2am. – Zoe
Grunting at night. – Val
Grunting and groaning in their sleep. Babies are so noisy. – Vicki
He would just scream randomly sometimes in his sleep, and we’d check on him but he’d be fast asleep. – Jade
Try not to panic while you watch them breathing…
Pausing during breathing. – Anita
Their breathing is so different to ours! They will breathe slowly then really quickly and sometimes stop breathing for a few seconds and it’s totally normal. – Melanie
Or while you watch them do anything really…
Sleeping with their eyes slightly open! – Liz
Foaming at the mouth while asleep. Apparently they are practising blowing bubbles. – Heidi
As he falls asleep his eyes roll a lot almost looks like a seizure, or I thought. But it’s not! – Rhiannon
Hands remained clenched while sleeping – Tammi
The drunken eye roll! My baby still looks like she is possessed after a feed! – Amy
Expect some feeding issues…
So many things. The most memorable as a newborn was gagging when taking the bottle. Had me searching ‘reflux’ and ‘choking on milk’. Turns out he was perfectly fine. – Belle
He used to shake when he was eating. – Katie
How often she wanted to breastfeed. She would not get off. – Liv
I tried every single bottle that was available to get them to bottle feed. – Chelsea
Cluster feeding. Had to look up why he was hungry straight after a feed. – Gem
Puked after feeds. – Sarah
And some temporary skin concerns…
I Googled everything! When she came out she was covered in cuts then her skin started peeling off. I didn’t know that happened! – Stephanie
Skin went very dry and peeling, eventually cleared up. – Alex
Milk spots! I had no idea! – Yolande
Baby acne. – April
She broke out in little pimples at around 4 weeks. We Googled it and saw that it was normal, and it went away on its own. – Rebecca
Apparently blue around the mouth = baby has wind. – Katrina
Occasionally though, weird behaviour can be a sign of something more troubling…
Drinking lots of bath water and going a little blue – Made a very concerned call to a nurse helpline. Also slight spasms/intermittently stiffening up. We, of course, suspected the worst …seizures and went through the motions of EEG’s to discover that nothing was abnormal with her brain activity. – Jenna
When his teeth come out they had white spots, they start chipping off, turned out he has enamel deficiency. – Rosanne
Ingrown toenails when they were born. – Katie
My bub was a bit yellowish turns out he had slight jaundice. – Chantelle
Green poo with black squiggles in it. Excess iron. – Nikki
So as you can see, there is a broad spectrum of weird behaviour you can expect from your bub. However, if you’re ever concerned about your baby’s strange behaviour, bodily functions or movements, it’s important to seek the advice of your doctor or midwife.
Newborns do a lot of weird sh*t as they get used to life on the outside, and will continue to do quirky and weird things as they grow older and try to figure their bodies out, but that doesn’t mean all weird behaviour is normal. Any doctor or midwife worth your time will tell you that they’d rather you come in for something that turns out to be innocent, than not come in for something that turns out to be a bigger issue. Other than that, embrace the weird, it’s what makes your little love who they are.
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