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We asked mums what it was like having sex for the first time after giving birth



Oh, you thought your lady bits were off the hook now that they had finished holding up your bowling ball of a baby for nine months? Now that they had stretched beyond what should be physically possible, so that said baby could slide out and into your open arms?

Almost Mama, almost. There’s one more obstacle to pass before your poor overworked, overtired vagina can finally take the holiday she deserves. You have to get through your first post-baby sexcapade

If you’re anything like me, you can’t imagine wanting to put anything back up there after everything that just came out, but every experience is different.

So we asked mums what it was like having sex for the first time after giving birth, and we promise it didn’t suck for everyone.


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We waited months due to having a c-section so I had plenty of time to recover and I was completely normal & ready by the time we did it again. – Lisa

Awkward. We hadn’t had sex in a very long time. We had no idea how to start. – Jessie

I felt ready but the sensation wasn’t the same for a while – Amy

It felt tight and there was so much pressure. I was ready but still, it was not enjoyable. – Kelsey

Even after a c-section, I felt nervous….. I still felt uncomfortable due to all the internal examinations – Megan

A bit uncomfortable, lube is your friend! But it is ok. Wear a bra with breast pads! I didn’t feel ready for a couple of months – I was too concerned about my healing and also super tired. – Lena

Nervous with baby potentially waking (he did). – Jackie

It was quite nice. I was nervous but it was tender and sweet and we even had a few laughs to keep it pressure-free. – Zoe

It felt like a step to getting back to normal. Better done sooner rather than later. – Val

It was scary because I didn’t know what it would feel like. I was ready. It was totally normal and my husband said everything felt normal (he’s either honest or a smart man!) – Sarah

I actually felt like a virgin again – and I’d had a Caesarian! Why did no one tell me this would be the case? – Melanie

I was so nervous when we did it that it wasn’t mentally enjoyable, but physically felt fine. Make sure you are healed. – Rhiannon

Scary! But wasn’t too bad! Hurt a little but nothing extreme. Lube is your best friend – Jen

The first time was 8 weeks post-c-section. Mentally I felt ready and wanted to be with my husband but it all felt very awkward and painful. My body wasn’t physically prepared for sex till roughly 3 months. – Vicki

It felt different to normal because everything inside is still moving back into its normal position – Kylie

Not as scary as anticipated and I felt ready. – Dani

Painful. I was ready but needed a slow build up and lots of communication. It got easier – Katie

I was so scared but it was fine, I thought it would hurt but it didn’t at the time. Afterwards, I felt some pain down there and in my stomach. – Stephanie

Painful with initial penetration, but then it was okay. Yep, felt ready for it. It was maybe uncomfortable the first 3 times. – Charlotte

I felt ready. Luckily I was all healed up by 6 weeks, we actually did it a few days earlier than 6 weeks and it was wonderful, my partner said it didn’t feel any different for him. It was great and so much easier without my big belly! – Deanne

I didn’t feel ready, but you get your groove back after a bit – Alexia 

Tight, painful and I only lasted 2 mins before I had to stop. I waited 14 weeks because I was scared about the scar. It got a little better with each try and plenty of foreplay, but it can still hurt now 14 months later. – Kim

I waited 6 weeks, we used heaps of lube and went super duper slow. – Olivia

Felt like throwing a sausage down a tunnel. – Paula

I was so not interested. All our energy was devoted to caring for our newborn and having broken sleep and/or sleepless nights. – Chantelle

I waited 9 months because I wasn’t mentally ready and it was worth the wait! – Elise

Due to having a c-section we waited until my 6 week postpartum appointment. (I also dilated 8.5cm during labour). The first time did feel different and a little uncomfortable however not painful as such. This was only the case the first two times before sex felt ‘normal’ again. – Helena

We waited till the all-clear from the doctors at 7 weeks. It was a bit painful. – Anne

It was fine! I had a c-section so it was pretty normal. – Amy 

Not as bad as expected. Libido was definitely lower than before birth. – Jane

Tight and dry, use lube and go slow. – Alex

A bit strange to be honest and I didn’t think my husband would like the new saggy bits etc but he didn’t care, was more my hang up. Having a c-section you have to wait a good few weeks anyway and my husband didn’t pressure me. – Liz


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So if you’re preparing for your first time having sex post-baby, don’t expect fireworks, but it’s also probably not as bad as you think it’s going to be.

Like we said earlier, everyone is different. Our only advice is to make sure you are 100% mentally ready and onboard before going down to freaky town. It’s ok to need time if you’re tired, stressed, mentally preoccupied with all things newborn baby or just touched out.

Read next: What to know about postpartum sex

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