A lifetime of carrying you

I carry you, but I can’t yet hold you. I wait for that day with such excitement and anticipation. 

But in the meantime, I am filled with so much wonder.

I wonder whether you will be a boy or a girl, who you will look more like, whether you will have long eyelashes or curly hair.

I wonder when we will meet. Will it be early or late? And how we will meet? What will birth look like this time?

I wonder how I will cope afterwards, with you in my arms rather than in my tummy. And your siblings. Will they find it easier or harder than me, or than before?

There’s so much I wonder about. 

About you, and what awaits us.

And how I can keep on getting through some of these days.

Between the early sickness, and the late nights awake with insomnia, it’s a hard road sometimes. 

Nine months is a long time. 

It can feel like a lifetime.

But I am creating you. 

That’s not something that can be rushed. 

And there is such beauty in this journey as just us, before everyone else. 

This much I do know already. 

Because I’ve been here before. 

Just like I know that you are wonderful. 

In every sense of the word. 

So I’ll wait. 

And I’ll try to enjoy this part as much as is possible some days. 

Because this pregnancy won’t be a lifetime.

But there will hopefully be a lifetime to carry you and tell you how wonderful you are on the outside.

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