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I’ve been there


Mama,

I’ve been there.

I’ve had to leave the mall with a crying toddler and a cart full of yet-to-be-purchased items.

I’ve had to ask for someone else to pay for my bill after I forgot my wallet in the morning rush.

I’ve had to arrive at so many things late, and then leave again early.

Mama,

I’ve been there.

I’ve counted down the minutes ‘til my husband gets home some evenings, and resented him leaving some mornings.

I’ve dreaded waking some nights, and longed for bedtime to come early on others.

I’ve cried in the car, the public toilets, and to strangers in the car park who have caught me in a vulnerable moment.

Mama,

I’ve been there.

I’ve wondered where the old me has gone, and who the new me is becoming.

I’ve doubted my strength, and listened to my weaknesses more days than I can count.

I’ve questioned why it can feel so hard, and when it will feel easier.

And Mama,

I’ve been through the rest too.

I’ve watched them sleep for hours, and then looked at photos of them on my phone instead of getting an early night.

I’ve longed for them wake up just so I can hold them, and delayed bedtime just so I can enjoy them for longer.

I’ve cried about how much I love them, what they mean to me, and at the very thought of what I would do without them.

Mama,

I’ve been there.

I’ve felt deeper than I’ve ever felt before.

I’ve found purpose like I’ve never found before.

I’ve forgotten what doesn’t matter, like it’s never mattered before.

Mama,

I’ve been there.

Through the hard, the breath-taking, the evolution from maiden to mother.

I’ve been there.

Not in the moments with you, but in my own moments next to you.

Mama,

I’ve been there.

And please know I’m here when you need me, and beside you when you don’t.

Please know we are in this together.


Read next: Ten steps ahead



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