Do you find yourself consumed by guilt some days?
You know, that feeling of not doing, or having done right, by your children?
Guilt for working, or not working?
Guilt for too much screen time, or not enough vegetables?
Guilt for taking a break, or just needing a break?
Because me too.
Do you find yourself being hard on yourself for moments already passed?
You know, that desire to go back in time and do things differently?
To have scrolled less and been present more?
To have cleaned instead of taking a nap?
To have been as gentle with them as you promised you would be today?
You know, don’t you?
Because there’s so much guilt tied up in mothering.
It shows up no matter what you do.
It can make for a hard day, or a sleepless night.
And it always lingers for far too long.
But do you know what?
That guilt we feel—it can’t be all bad.
Because although it may feel like it in the moment,
And although it may temporarily make us feel like “bad” mothers,
It doesn’t mean we are.
In my view it can be a sign that we care about our family.
It can be the result of wanting to do our best for our children.
It can be intrinsically tied to loving as hard as we do.
And personally, seeing it this way helps.
It can ease the harsh narratives I feed myself.
It can move me through the guilt more quickly.
It can encourage me to start again fresh.
And I think this is what we all need to know and be reminded of, often.
Because the truth is,
Guilt will always linger while we are in a love this deep—it is linked with love.
And while we can’t go back in time and change anything,
By doing our best, which will look different every day, we are doing right by our children.
And that is all that truly matters.