It’s a learning curve every new parent goes through. We start off dreaming up all the ways that we’ll do better than our parents did, then we actually birth our squishy little humans and holy sh*t parenting is way harder than we thought.
It doesn’t take long for all of our preconceived standards of success to be tossed aside, as we kick into survival mode, and we soon start to realise that maybe our parents actually did a pretty good job.
Maybe, just maybe, their only fault was being human and having a threshold for how much of our bullsh*t they could handle before they had a mental breakdown.
Now that we’re doing the same dance with our own kids, let’s reflect and laugh (so that we don’t cry) at all the outrageous lies we told ourselves about how we would parent.
Here are all the things mums told us they swore they’d never do as parents, but definitely now do.
1. Letting the TV babysit
TV time! Wiggles are my saviour and it means I can have a shower in the morning – Lena
I use screen time so I can have downtime! It’s the only way. – Alexa
I let the TV parent for me on occasion. – Kate
Let the kids turn the TV on while I sleep in a little on weekends – Tara
2. Feeding your kid unhealthy foods
I let them have 2 minute noodles. – Cassie
They eat unhealthy food, which I said I’d never do (anything quick is my go to) – Laura
I occasionally bribe them with lollies. – Becki
I always said I’d prevent my kid from becoming picky eaters by not offering them certain foods (haha!), now he basically lives on peanut butter toast, potato and cheese. – Olivia
3. Being an “extra” mum
She has her own Instagram. – Amanda
I said I’d never spoil my kids but I buy them way too many clothes and toys. – Melanie
I used to say matching outfits are cringe but guess who got the whole family to dress in matching pj’s for Christmas! – Kira
4. Being the “annoying” parents
I officially became the person I used to dread when I was younger: I became the mom who brings her young child on long plane rides to visit the grandparents. Yikes! I am so sorry to everyone who ever rode a plane with us. – Anna
I said I would never let my kid meltdown in public but you quickly learn there is no controlling a toddler tornado. – Jenn
My partner and I said we’d never be that loud, annoying family at the cafe on weekends but you can’t avoid bringing them with you and good luck controlling them while you’re there! – Rhiannon
5. Letting your baby’s routine run your life
We said we wouldn’t be a slave to the nap routine – fast forward six months and that nap schedule has saved our sanity. – Jess
My partner refused to believe that we’d have to change our social life, “the baby will have to fit in with our life”. Sounds good in theory but much harder in practice! – Samantha
6. Giving in to your kid’s demands
We co-sleep, which I used to be scared of. It actually turned out to be such a beautiful experience with both my kids. – Elissa
I said I’d never give my child a dummy, but it’s been a lifesaver. – Devika
I give in to my baby’s crying more often than I should, anything to buy some peace and quiet haha. – Sonya
7. Taking shortcuts
I do my son’s homework for him sometimes when I don’t have time to help him do it himself. – Michelle
I make her go to sleep more than she needs so that I can have some me time – Anya
Those little white lies that either brush off complicated concepts above their current abilities or just save something from just being a whole thing to deal with… “Why isn’t Nanny coming over?” – “She’s sleeping…” – Simone
8. Losing your sh*t a.k.a being human
I remember being yelled at a lot as a kid and always said I’d never lose my temper at my kids – fast forward to having two kids and I yell at least once every day. I guess the difference is I always apologise afterwards. – Alissa
I had all these ideas about how I would be a perfect role model and teach my kids emotional intelligence but far out do they push my limits. I’ve definitely lost my temper more than a few times. – Emma
I can’t believe I actually thought I would never yell at my kids! – Fiona
So there it is, some days you’ll nail it, other days, you’ll let the TV parent for you, or you’ll serve 2 minute noodles for dinner. No one, literally NO ONE is perfect. But also, f*ck that because motherhood is exhausting enough without trying to live up to anyone else’s idea of how you should parent, and that includes your own preconceived ideas.
So when a soon to be parent starts to tell you what they will or won’t do when they birth their little perfectly behaved angel baby, just smile, nod and keep sipping your tea. They will learn, we all do.
What did you tell yourself you’d never do as a parent that you do now that you have kids? Let us know in the comments.