A mother is always ten steps ahead.
Her mind is planning, hoping, thinking.
It’s constantly preparing for the moments that follow.
This is the part I wasn’t prepared for.
How desperate you are to be present in the moment, but the difficulty that comes with doing that when there is just so much else to do.
It’s calculating the time it takes to do things, or estimating how you can mitigate things going wrong.
It’s juggling what needs to be done now, and what can wait for another few hours, days or even weeks.
It’s remembering where you left that form, and adding that as yet another mental note to do when the children are in bed.
And with this all comes the physical doing.
It’s utilising nap time, screen time, or time of quiet play to prepare dinner and tomorrow’s lunches.
It’s getting up early despite being tired to get the washing on, or breakfast started.
It’s going to bed late to clean up after the day and prepare for tomorrow.
And even when you taking a moment to be present, relax, or just hear the sound of our own (often shallow) breathing, it’s preparing for how much time you will need to make up next, for the now.
It’s go, go, go.
To get there, there, there.
Rather than stay in the now, now, now.
And although not often the obvious cause of the exhaustion,
It can be exhausting.
It makes up a huge part of the invisible load carried.
But this is what mothers do.
Because at the end of the day it’s for our children.
And while sometimes we are jeopardising our rest and presence in the moment to be moments ahead,
We ARE there for them.
We are making the moments happen in the first place.